Dog Pack Profile # 1

The Missile Kisser

120 lbs of pure, muddy intensity, this dog is a park goers nightmare. An extreme athlete, the Missile Kisser is a force to be reckoned with both in the air and on the ground. The wobbliest Frisbee launched across the park never hits the grass thanks to his lightning quick reflexes and impeccable eye/mouth coordination.

Beware the call of the dog walker "Stay down, Missile Kisser! No jumping!" as he charges towards you. His tail may be wagging, his long tongue flopping out the side of his huge smile, but he is no friend to you.

The dog walker has seen it before. The call is not for him. It is for you. She is giving you time to put your knee up, turn your back to his charge, slow him down with a firm stare and a resounding "No!" anything to snap him out of the hallucination that your face is a Frisbee.

The wrong move in this moment could very well ruin your entire day. The Missile Kisser aims for the mouth, leaving the lucky person with a slobbery cheek and a fat lip, the unlucky, a ripped shirt and a missing tooth.

Should you fail to see him in action, victims of his attack are easy to recognize. They wander zombie-like across the park, hand gently touching their lips as if checking to see if that really did just happen to them.

Steer clear of the missile-kissed. It is likely they're thinking what they should have done to retaliate and likely they will do it to you should you startle them in your approach.

If your dog pack has a Missile Kisser, upgrade your insurance and beef up your first aid skills because this dog wrecks havoc wherever he goes.