Oh God, It's Friday

Don't go to the dog park on Fridays. Just don't. Maybe everyone's brain is in weekend mode a.k.a. shut off, but it doesn't excuse how stupid people get on Fridays.

Like the guy who showed up today with his wife and their young black lab. Yes, sir, I'm talking about you. I should have run the other way as soon as you asked if I was a dog walker. 10 dogs and you have to ask. I thought about it but two of my dogs took a liking to yours so I only walked the other way slowly so they could lag behind and have a little play time with your puppy. That's what dog parks are for, right? Apparently not.

You, sir, seemed to think you could show up at an off leash park with your dog and his favorite ball, which happens to be every dog's favorite ball, and play a little game of fetch.

But then the nightmare began when you approached my pack to ask be about the breed of a dog you found attractive and my little French Bulldog put her paws on your freshly pressed jeans to get closer to the squeaky ball you held in your hand. I appreciate you turning around and telling her, "off" in your firm voice, it takes a village to train these dogs, but next time, instead of holding the ball higher in the air, spinning around in circles screeching at her before kicking her away, why don't you try a little secret only those of us in the super secret underground dog club know. Put the f@#*ing thing in your pocket. You know, out of sight. Remove the temptation.

And, though I realize you were out of your mind with concern over the paw print on your shin, I still think you way overreacted to your puppy playing with other dogs. That's right sir, playing.

When two dogs meet, bark at each other in that high voice, bend their heads low to the ground with their front paws splayed out, that's translated as, "hey, you're cool, wanna play?" And when those two same dogs go chasing after each other, it's not a hunt to the death. It's a game of chase, like tag, only without touching. And the dog in the front, like your little Lab today, is actually in the alpha dog position. Unfortunately, your little Lab is being trained to grow up to be a scared little Lab by you stomping and yelling at his new playmates to go away. And if you kick your little Lab like you kicked my dogs today, I hope your neighbors call animal control and find your Lab a home with someone who has a clue about four legged creatures.

It is stupid Friday today, so I realize you were at your worst, but seriously, you should get cable and watch a dog training show. Do it for your dog, and for your poor wife. I'm sure your people skills aren't stellar either.